Uncharted Passage Read online

  Hayden sat on a block with the children on either side of her. Emily sat across from her and opened the beans. “Sorry, I couldn’t find any silverware.”

  Emily chuckled. “I think we’ll manage, won’t we, kids?”

  They shared the food, eating the beans with their fingers. Emily noticed that, as with the soda, Hayden gave more to the kids than she took herself. Her generosity stirred something deep inside. She had to be as hungry as Emily, and she was using all her strength, but she still put herself last. Emily wondered where that self-sacrifice came from. Was it instinctive or acquired? Whatever the explanation, her actions spoke louder than words. Hayden was a person of character.

  “You need to eat something,” Emily prompted her softly.

  “I’m eating.” Hayden tried to sound casual but didn’t think she was successful.

  “Yeah, four bites for them, one for you. That’s eight bites to your one. I don’t call that eating.”

  “You say tomato, I say tom-ah-to.” Hayden mimicked the British accent with added emphasis. She was hungry, but it was more important to her that the children and Emily got enough to eat.

  “I say bullshit,” Emily countered.

  “Emily, please. I’m fine. I’m really not that hungry.” Her stomach decided at that moment to refute her last comment.

  “Uh-huh. Here.” Emily held out a serving of beans on two fingers. Hayden hesitated. “Eat it.”

  Hayden knew when she was beat and leaned forward. She took Emily’s fingers into her mouth and their eyes locked.

  Emily’s mouth dropped open at the sensation of her fingers in Hayden’s mouth. She repeated the offering, her hand shaking as she waited for Hayden’s tongue to curl gently over her fingers as she accepted the food. Hayden’s eyes darkened and Emily found it difficult to withdraw. Her fingers were still being sucked long after the food was gone.

  Desire shot through her. How could something as innocuous as eating pork and beans be so erotic, especially under the circumstances? Where had her mind gone? The same place as her common sense and reasoning—somewhere behind her, both literally and figuratively. Her body was hot with arousal and she craved the feel of Hayden’s strong arms around her. She wanted to know what it was like to make love with her. Somehow she was certain it would be intense, powerful, and like nothing she had ever experienced. She shuddered, wondering if they would survive this nightmare, and when Hayden finally pulled away, Emily was afraid that she might never get the chance to know.

  Chapter Four

  The sun set quickly, and without the competing glow of streetlights, the stars seemed ultra-bright against the dark sky. Victoria lay in blissful sleep with her head in Hayden’s lap. Hayden leaned against a wall stripped of any ornaments, her legs stretched out in front of her. She was exhausted but knew there was no way she’d get much sleep tonight with Emily sitting next to her.

  She couldn’t resist asking, “Who’s waiting for you back home?”

  Emily’s voice was soft and was a caress in the darkness. “The usual. Mom, Dad, some friends.”

  “Anybody else?”

  “No, not really. How about you?”

  “The same.” Hayden was typically evasive when anyone fished for personal information.

  “Were you on vacation here?” Emily heard a movement, but it was so dark she couldn’t see if Hayden nodded or shook her head. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

  “Yes. You?”

  “Yeah. I needed to get away,” Emily replied vaguely.

  She certainly hadn’t planned on coming alone. The trip was supposed to be an opportunity to rekindle the passion that had been dormant for several years with her partner Michelle. At the last minute, Michelle had canceled, making some excuse about her job and an unexpected deadline. Emily was angry, hurt, and suspicious, but she refused to play into yet another of Michelle’s ploys for attention. She came to Khao Lak for their second honeymoon alone.

  “That’s why everyone comes to paradise,” Hayden said. “It’s the perfect escape.”

  She never tired of the Southeast Asian land famous for its warmth, hospitality, cuisine, and Buddhist culture. The beach villages of Thailand openly welcomed gay and lesbian couples. This was one of the few places she could simply be herself. On each trip she visited a different beach community. This was her first time to Khao Lak.

  “What are you running from?” Emily asked bluntly.

  Hayden hesitated. Emily was closer to the mark than she was comfortable with. “Who says I’m running from anything? Maybe I’m just on vacation.”

  “Something tells me a woman like you doesn’t simply go on vacation.” Emily wondered where that observation came from. She didn’t know Hayden enough to know one way or another what she did.

  “A woman like me?”

  Emily cringed, caught on her own words. The night was eerily still. Thankful for the darkness that hid her embarrassed flush, she said, “Well, you don’t seem to be the type that does anything simple. What I mean is that you seem very intense, so I thought you probably do everything with equal intensity.”

  Her thoughts instantly careened into fantasy. Intense sex with Hayden. She could almost feel their bodies moving together. The image made her break out in a sweat.

  Hayden chuckled. “Actually, you’re right. I’m not real good at sitting around and watching the air move.”

  “Then why the beach? There’s not much more going on here.” Emily paused. “Other than the possibility of getting killed in a natural disaster.”

  Hayden didn’t try to keep the smile off her face. “Pretty girls.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Pretty girls. Lots of them. I come here to fuck myself silly for a week. Then I go home.”

  Hayden gasped at the candor of her comment. She knew what her intentions were coming to the beach, but normally she would never share the truth with anyone else. Maybe it was the anonymity of the darkness, or maybe the sense of freedom that made everything else superfluous and immaterial. They were two people thrown together for survival, and the usual social conventions felt completely irrelevant.

  “And were you successful?” Emily had no idea why she asked; she didn’t want to know the answer. A surge of jealousy flashed through her at the thought of Hayden with other women. It was her body she wanted Hayden to touch, caress, and, yes, fuck.

  “I’m not sure I want to answer that question.”

  Hayden was not ashamed of her life or her sexual experiences, but for some reason she didn’t want them out for display in front of Emily. She had opened the subject and now she wasn’t sure how to step back from her disclosures. Regret washed over her. Why hadn’t they met at the beginning of her stay and not now, toward the end and in the middle of a catastrophe? Emily was witty, intelligent, and beautiful. She would have been the ideal companion for a week of mutual pleasure. Assuming she had holiday flings, and Hayden couldn’t imagine why a woman would travel alone to a Thai beach for any other reason.

  Emily confirmed her assumptions by noting, “With that body and your charming smile, I think I can figure out the answer on my own.”

  Hayden acknowledged the dry compliment with a lingering stare, enjoying the smooth contours she could make out in the darkness. “So what are you running from?” she asked, turning the question back to Emily.

  “Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all.”

  Emily reflected on her relationship with Michelle. She didn’t know when everything had started going south. She suspected the demise of their connection was just a case of two people growing in different directions. She had once loved Michelle deeply, but the past few days on the beach confirmed what she’d known all along but hadn’t admitted to herself. She doubted Michelle had realized it either. Somewhere between boarding the plane and her third application of sunscreen, she had finally accepted that their relationship was over, and had been for a very long time.

  “You’d better get some sleep,” Hayden said, concerned with the resignatio
n she heard in Emily’s voice. “Tomorrow’s going to be another long day and you need your rest.”

  “What about you?”

  “I’m exhausted. I’ll have no trouble falling asleep.”

  Emily shifted to get comfortable and the movement sent a searing pain into her thigh. “Ouch, shit that hurt.” Hayden’s hand landed on her arm, sending a jolt of awareness of how much she wanted Hayden’s touch and just how alone they were under the stars.

  “What is it?”

  Her concern warmed Emily, but at the same time she felt guilty. The bleeding had stopped over an hour ago and Hayden had checked the injury. It looked red and angry, but that was to be expected. Hayden was the one shouldering all the responsibility of getting the four of them to safety, and she was complaining about a little cut on her leg. She made a mental note not to call attention to it again.

  “It’s nothing,” she said. “Just bumped my leg, that’s all.”

  “It’s going to be stiff and sore in the morning. You’ll have to take it easy.”

  “I’ll be all right.”

  Emily slid down, curling on her side on the hard floor, using her arm as a pillow. She heard Hayden settle behind her but before she had a chance to dwell on how it would feel if Hayden were curled up against her, she fell asleep.

  Listening to the soft sound of Emily’s breathing, Hayden wondered if she’d done the right thing stressing that the wound was minor. In this heat with the filthy conditions, infection was almost inevitable, and without antibiotics an infection could grow rapidly worse. Within another day, Emily might not be able to put any weight on her leg. Hayden would carry her the entire way if she had to, but she suspected she would meet with resistance. Emily was strong and would never allow it.

  Hayden wondered what to do. She would have to treat the gash somehow, without drugs or equipment. It needed antiseptic, probably stitches, and Emily should have a tetanus shot. Surely the outside world knew about the disaster and aid teams were already arriving. She needed to reach help as soon as possible or the consequences could be dire. Ulceration, gangrene…amputation. Even worse, blood poisoning. Left untreated, a wound like Emily’s could be fatal.

  She forced herself to stay calm. It was one thing to consider a worst-case scenario, another to make herself crazy with worry. Emily and the children were counting on her, and that meant keeping her fears to herself and making them feel confident. She could have a breakdown another day.

  Hayden took several slow, deep breaths and moved in closer to Emily. Carefully, she slid an arm over her waist. She half expected to be pushed away, but Emily didn’t stir. Feeling strangely content, Hayden settled against her. For them to meet like this and for her to have the feelings she already had toward this woman was unsettling. But she couldn’t afford to overanalyze. She had more important things to do. Like save their lives.

  *

  Hayden was jolted awake by a flailing arm. Emily was obviously having a nightmare. She sat up and leaned over her to try to wake her when Emily’s elbow connected just above her left eye. It was the same place she was cut during the tsunami and the cut reopened, blood pouring down her face.

  “Shit.” She cupped her hand to the painful area. Sticky liquid warmed her fingers and she wiped it out of her eye to no avail. More blood simply took its place and she finally closed her eye to the assault.

  Emily writhed beside her, moaning and saying things that told Hayden she was dreaming of being in the water again. “No!” she shouted. “Somebody please help me.”

  Her hands were reaching out like they were when Hayden first saw her. Hayden ached to comfort her, but she had to stanch the flood of blood into her eye. She tore the remaining piece off the bottom of her shirt and pressed it to the cut. Pain shot through her head and a wave of nausea rolled over her. Feeling better after taking several deep breaths, she wrapped the cloth around her head, tying it a tight knot. Her head pounded, but at least the blood had stopped running down her face. She leaned over Emily again, this time keeping an eye out for flying elbows.

  Hayden sat up and pulled the sleeping woman into her arms. “Emily, hush, it’s just a dream. You’re okay. I’m right here.” She repeated the soothing words several times before Emily fell back into a deep sleep. Emily cuddled into her like she had been doing it for years, her hand cupping Hayden’s breast, her injured leg slightly bent at the knee. They sat that way a long time, Hayden’s back against the wall, Emily in her arms, before Hayden finally fell asleep once more.

  *

  When she woke a few hours later her eye throbbed and her butt hurt from sitting on the hard floor. During the night Victoria had crawled next to her, placing her head in Hayden’s lap. Gently Hayden smoothed the dark hair away from the little face, and she felt Emily stir. She couldn’t see Emily’s face but her heart rate increased nonetheless.

  Suddenly feeling awkward, she cleared the frog from her throat. “Good morning.”

  The first evidence of sunrise peeked over the horizon the same instant Hayden spoke, and Emily wasn’t sure which was brighter. She wasn’t aware when during the night she had moved into Hayden’s arms but it felt good. She fit perfectly in her arms and felt cocooned from the world. She was warm, and if not for the ache in her leg and the hard ground, she could stay in Hayden’s arms all day.

  “Good morning.” she replied shyly. She had been watching Hayden stroking Victoria’s hair and cheek for several minutes, intrigued by her tenderness toward the children.

  Hayden was physically strong, but it was her emotional strength that drew Emily. In the past eighteen hours she had witnessed indescribable destruction, countless bodies and limbs protruding from mud and debris. It was more than Emily could handle, and she’d fought tears and breaking down several times throughout the day. Just when she thought she could not take another step or pass by another body, Hayden would suddenly appear beside her, taking her hand as they continued on. Emily had also taken her turn to carry Victoria most of the day. She was too small to traverse the difficult terrain. Jake was able to maneuver a little better but there were several times when Emily was exhausted from carrying one child or the other that Hayden carried them both. She never once hesitated to offer a hand for support, utter a soothing word, or say something to make the children laugh.

  Her mind flashed back to the several times yesterday she had caught herself watching Hayden move effortlessly through the carnage. Her body had unmistakably responded to the sweat gleaming on hard muscles clearly defined by Hayden’s sparse clothing. The visceral reaction to Hayden shocked her.

  “Sleep good?” Hayden asked.

  “You’re joking, right?” Emily had discovered early on that Hayden had a wonderful sense of humor. As her laughter filled the quiet morning, Emily was shocked to realize she wanted to wake up to it every morning.

  “I think the kids are the only ones who got any kind of decent sleep.” Hayden ran a hand over Jake’s tangled hair. The boy had crawled up next to his sister and was snoring quietly.

  “There’s something to be said about the innocence of youth.” Emily’s relationship with her parents, her breakup with Michelle, and the tsunami were a far cry from the happy ignorance of her younger years. Being a grown-up brought adult problems, challenges, and pleasures. One of those pleasures was how she felt right now in Hayden’s arms.

  “The innocence of youth,” Hayden mused. “I remember one summer I had a lemonade stand. It was really hot and my mother let me use the card table and I practically dragged it the entire way to the sidewalk. I made a little sign, had a full pitcher, a few cups, and I was ready to go. I honestly thought I was going to get rich. I mean, I had the inventory and the advertising, what more did I need? I had what people wanted, it only made sense that they would flock to my stand. I’d have cars lined up and down the street.” She chuckled as if the scene were yesterday.

  Emily felt Hayden’s laugh deep in her chest. “And were they?”

  “No, we lived on a dead-end street.
Silly me, I think I sold three glasses. One to my mother, one to the next-door neighbor, and one to the mailman. That was my first and only foray into self-employment.”

  Emily pictured a much younger Hayden sitting in a chair behind her lemonade stand waiting patiently for customers that never came. She felt a pang of sympathy and snuggled closer. “How old were you?”

  “Eight.”

  Her father had been midway through a two-year deployment to Korea. She and her mother could not accompany him and had remained behind in San Antonio. Their house was on a quiet street in a middle-class neighborhood, but unfortunately there were few children her age on the block. That was okay with Hayden. Her father’s career kept them on the move and she had suffered far too many tearful partings from friends she became close to. As a result she kept herself detached enough that she wouldn’t get hurt when it was time to pack up and move to another base.

  She became a voracious reader of military strategy dating as far back as Napoleon. This made her feel closer to her father when he was away, and their letters were often filled with discussions of battle tactics. Her father had developed her ability to analyze a situation from every angle and think through a course of action. She was grateful for that now.

  Hayden tightened her arm around Emily and brushed aside strands of soft brown hair tickling her nose. It felt natural to hold her. They stayed that way for several minutes, neither of them speaking. The sun had risen over the horizon and Hayden watched the rays crawl across the floor. There was no way she could ever have imagined herself with a beautiful woman in her arms, two children practically in her lap, sleeping on a cement floor in the middle of a natural disaster.

  The children roused before Hayden could reflect on her feelings any more. A sense of emptiness washed over her when Emily slowly disengaged herself and sat up. Their eyes met and Emily’s smile was gentle and warm, if a bit shy. She looked sleepy but sparkling, and she was absolutely beautiful. Hayden wanted to wake up to those vibrant brown eyes every morning. Her thoughts must have been mirrored in her face, because Emily’s expression changed. Her pupils darkened and desire flared in her eyes.